I moved from the stair well drawn into the living room and sat next to him on the couch thinking I shouldn't be doing this. He blew circles of smoke like a striped candy colored cat chillin' on a shroom.
He coughed, "So, where you going?" I was up against a wall, on my way to see a another girl I'd just met in The Quad. Just two days later and I was following her to church. " Why are you creeping out? Where are you going?" He packed a bowl into a home made contraption he crafted out of a Pert bottle."What are you doing up?" he handed me the bong. I held it away from me.
"huh." I mumbled. "I'm not getting high. gotta go."
"where? its Sunday."
"you don't want to know."
"Church?" he asked. "you going to church with that girl you brought home the other day from the school. The one with the fucking bible in her hands, nice hair, no make up, little skirt. Are you going to church?"
"Yea," I confessed. "I'm going to church."
"Is there something wrong with you? She's Christian. What's wrong with you? Here, smoke this. "
"I don't want to be late."
Two brothers in a dimly lit living room accompanied by the bubbling bong. It was a moment of zen. It was a moment of grace. He understood. I was drawn in. I was going on Mecca. But instead of Israel, I was getting really high and joining some cow pokes in a Four Square church in hopes of doggie poking one of their own. It was a mission for Christ's sake.
Two brothers in a dimly lit living room accompanied by the bubbling bong. It was a moment of zen. It was a moment of grace. He understood. I was drawn in. I was going on Mecca. But instead of Israel, I was getting really high and joining some cow pokes in a Four Square church in hopes of doggie poking one of their own. It was a mission for Christ's sake.
I drove on the country road that shadowed the Santiam River, a chilly, windy water way lined with evergreens flecked with birds of prey. The sky was an old gray sponge that couldn't hold anymore water; not quite rainy, it was just drippy. And I was the only car on the road driving from a small town in the Willamette Valley into the huge expanse known as Butt Fuck Egypt. An eagle dropped from the top of a Douglas Fir and dived towards the water.
There she was. A white box with a steeple in the middle of no where on a gravel lot next to the river. Just like she said, "It's a Four Square Church by the river. 8:00am. Don't be late."
I pulled in and it was raining. There were cars parked in a line out front: Four wheel drives lifted, American sedans and a lot of Chevy's. There were a fucking lot of Chevy's. I watched the rain hit the wind shield of my Honda Accord. I peaked into the rear view and decided I should make my self presentable. I pulled the tie from my pony tail, put on a fuzzy Russian leather hat and checked out my reflection again in the rear view. With brown eyes, brown skin, long brown hair; I looked Sherpa Sheik.
There she was. A white box with a steeple in the middle of no where on a gravel lot next to the river. Just like she said, "It's a Four Square Church by the river. 8:00am. Don't be late."
I pulled in and it was raining. There were cars parked in a line out front: Four wheel drives lifted, American sedans and a lot of Chevy's. There were a fucking lot of Chevy's. I watched the rain hit the wind shield of my Honda Accord. I peaked into the rear view and decided I should make my self presentable. I pulled the tie from my pony tail, put on a fuzzy Russian leather hat and checked out my reflection again in the rear view. With brown eyes, brown skin, long brown hair; I looked Sherpa Sheik.
Inside the church, beyond the patter of the rain and behind the double doors, I could hear a faint music. It was some kind of Cowboy Gospel. It sounded like shit and I suddenly felt really out of place. But I was way too stoned to care. Five bong hits will absolutely change a man at a molecular level. I opened the car door and stepped out into the rain. The ground was soaked, the air was cool and refreshing. I looked up at the sky and let the water hit my face. It felt friendly. Then I started to think about the first time I went to church for impure reasons. The last girl who beckoned me to follow her to the house of the Lord.
She taunted me to come. Her name was Traci. And at her request, I sat in the back row and listened to the preacher talk of God and Souls. He was a huge man, kinda like a cross between Tony Soprano and Mr. Clean. But he was all the way dirty. It was in the whine of his voice and the clammy look of his flesh. He looked like he would bleed gravy. Like his sweat was sour. And the congregation, misfits from a little logging town, seemed to eat him up. That day the body of Christ was chicken fried steak.
She taunted me to come. Her name was Traci. And at her request, I sat in the back row and listened to the preacher talk of God and Souls. He was a huge man, kinda like a cross between Tony Soprano and Mr. Clean. But he was all the way dirty. It was in the whine of his voice and the clammy look of his flesh. He looked like he would bleed gravy. Like his sweat was sour. And the congregation, misfits from a little logging town, seemed to eat him up. That day the body of Christ was chicken fried steak.
"If you want to realize the ever lasting," said the Fat Man in Cloth, "then god damn it you better give your self over to him." The Him was Jesus, I think. And I may have misquoted the Fat Fucker Just now. Suddenly a red curtain that hung mysteriously behind him slowly squeaked open by the hand of a hidden Production Assistant. On a light blue wall there was a pane glass window revealed as the crimson curtain moved to the side. Behind the glass was a giant bowl of water. The bowl resembled an over sized champagne glass and there was a white slide descending in to it. It wasn't extravagant by any means, the whole window was eight by four at most and the bowl sat on a painted ply wood table, but it made a statement. A creepy, haunting statement that had a grip on my heart and mind.
Then the body of Christ shape shifted into a web cam girl. Church Girl Dot Cum. Traci came sliding into the bowl in a polka dot two piece bikini. And she let out a squeel, "Oh, God.". Her long legs fell in about her like a five year old in a kitchen sink.
Then the body of Christ shape shifted into a web cam girl. Church Girl Dot Cum. Traci came sliding into the bowl in a polka dot two piece bikini. And she let out a squeel, "Oh, God.". Her long legs fell in about her like a five year old in a kitchen sink.
The fat man turned from the display and pulled out a tobacco stained hanker chief to wipe his brow. "Our child Traci. A child of god. She has joined us today, come unto us, come unto me for a personal introduction to the Lord," There was some splashing and giggling as Traci struggled for balance in the glass bowl. She was slender but she was just too much leg for that bowl.
"Oh My God," I said. "Wow."
"Its a glorious day, are you here for her?" said the red neck man next to me, his cute wife and kid in a row next to him.
"Excuse me?" I asked
"She told us you were a friend of hers." he added.
" Yes. This is a great day for God and our Country. I might go next," I smiled.
The fat man preached on. His jowls jiggled as Traci jiggled, "God praise our Child!" He wiped his brow and the Crowd went wild. Soon the curtains closed, people started to come to their feet.
The gaze in their stares were dormant like children with an XBox haze. They filed out of the double doors onto the grass outside. I followed the crowd out to a field whereTraci joined me in a white linen dress. We sat shouder to shoulder with the rest of the congregation at a long picnic table. We ate chicken fried steak.
"Oh My God," I said. "Wow."
"Its a glorious day, are you here for her?" said the red neck man next to me, his cute wife and kid in a row next to him.
"Excuse me?" I asked
"She told us you were a friend of hers." he added.
" Yes. This is a great day for God and our Country. I might go next," I smiled.
The fat man preached on. His jowls jiggled as Traci jiggled, "God praise our Child!" He wiped his brow and the Crowd went wild. Soon the curtains closed, people started to come to their feet.
The gaze in their stares were dormant like children with an XBox haze. They filed out of the double doors onto the grass outside. I followed the crowd out to a field whereTraci joined me in a white linen dress. We sat shouder to shoulder with the rest of the congregation at a long picnic table. We ate chicken fried steak.
That day was a year prior to this one. I stayed away from church after that. For awhile. Now here I was again.
"Only one way to do this. God if you're up there," I said to the rain. "Protect me from the evil in this church."
I headed for the stairs of the church, marched up towards the pearly doors, which were brown by the way, and I pushed those fuckers open.
